turning towards the dark, basking in the light

I have been in such a craze of activity the past weeks that here it is nearly Samhain, and I am finally making time for my Mabon post. But there is such beauty and sweetness in this time of year, I can't let it pass. For me, Mabon is really a kind of birthday, as it is the anniversary of my initiation into Sha'can. On the Saturday before the Equinox, my kaula came to my house for a little ritual and family love. We sat on the grass in my backyard with our little altar, Maa, the local Fae, each other and the cypress trees. We did not do anything in the way of magick, beyond affirming our community and friendship, there were this past year's new initiates there who are just learning our magical style, and it was a very gentle, baby circle.

This is also the time of my younger child's birthday, and he is nine this year. We celebrated for days, not something he has ever wanted before, and we did our best to honor his wish. He wanted to have a bonfire as part of his celebration, so our family went to the beach for the full moon, a few days before The Day itself. It was a lovely, warm San Francisco autumn evening, and we had a picnic and watched for the green fire as the sun sank into the water. My kids went for a walk while I built up the fire. I was so grateful that the baby time is over, that we have so much fun together, that they are such interesting people and nice kids. How much of this is the way we raised them, and how much is just the way they are? This is the time of the year when that question arises for me, especially in regard to them as with both of them I was hugely and uncomfortably pregnant and quite ready to be done with it. And now I can see and appreciate the wealth I have in my life, because of those months of waiting and the never-ending years of the work of being a parent. This is the time when we can count the harvest, and take stock. This year, I have come out good. Here we see His Royal Birthdayness ready to go out for dinner. He always dresses for the occasion with impeccable taste, although I will say that I miss the days when a cape was part of every ensemble.

I find myself now looking forward and back, aware of all that I've worked on this year, all the fruit of that labor and all the letting go that it required of me. As the year turns to the dark, I go back into my own stillness and cool darkness with the awareness that there is quite a bit more that wants to leave me, or that I need to leave behind. But for now, I sit in the autumn sunshine and wait for the dark.